Disneyland is not a country please

Thank you very nice cause I cannot induce any more humiliation upon myself after what happened today. I cannot face nobody!!!!!!!!!!! If only you were a stranger I could disengage. The word Fuck was very visibly etched on my face, evaporating from every pore. Seriously let me just cry right now. Better yet. Just let me be in solitary. Hey. Solitary requires a certain confidence k. Loners are way cooler than you think. Don’t look up just let them think there’s no place else you’d rather be. Sure it gets a bit quiet in here. ESPECIALLY SINCE MY MP3 ROSAK CAUSE SYAKI DROPPED IT INTO A CUP OF MILO. THANKS EH. I’m wireless-less &mp3less.

Yea I’m in school right now. Using the Eplaza. I’m still an NYP student til graduation next year k. (Wah. Exam belom dah think about graduation. Onward, Lela!)

I saw Dr. P just now:*) He had me at hello. He always have me at hello. That, or when he’s doing his runs:*)

Sab’s in the library. With her friend. Urmph.

Nevertheless, my morning had been pretty meaningful(1:50pm right now) &I ain’t talking about the mugging.

Not one of them involving you

Communication breakdown sey today. Slenger to the max. As in, yours truly. Maybe it’s the hair.

Kama not pleased. HAHAHAHA CAN TELL. SORRY BABE. You’re like my mother that way. Even she didn’t know what to say to me, except a meek “idk la”. Translation: whatever makes you happy, you fucked up weirdo.

The last ever presentation today. Screwed it up big time. As in, yours truly. WAS SO DISTRACTED. Maybe it was the lecturer’s goldfish eyes staring back at me when I was presenting. Or maybe I was just complacent.

-

NgTL rather accusingly, to Justine, Yuwen &me, cause we weren’t in red like majority of the kids today: “Singaporean or not?”

“No.” Yuwen.

“Then what country you from?”

Yuwen’s eyes darted shiftily. For the first time she had nothing else witty to say.

“Country-less,” I helped her. “She lives in a cardboard.”

To Justine: “You lei? Singaporean or not?”

“Inside,” she said patriotically. I nodded emphasizingly.

“Inside. In my heart, I am Singaporean,” Justine elaborated.

I stopped nodding. If only I could say the same. “Inside. My bra red.”

&then here was when Yuwen quipped: “My underwear red. Menses.”

:DDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!???????????

-

Jenny jahat. “Lela! What you doing here?”

We were in the room where the final year students(our classmates) were showcasing their final product. Were there to support Yuwen’s subgroup.

Lala being cheeky: “Oh, I’m the assessor.” (Lecturers were there to assess &grade the product)

Next thing Jenny was hollering, “Hello people! Here got new assessor Lela!” Thank god her voice wasn’t that loud, but a few of our kids were gawking &laughing in amusement. I wanted to disappear.

-

Gray is not a feeling

It’s Monday la.

I wore black today.

My insane woman wore black today.

My Caramel Frappe also wore black today.

Mother of all shakey shots.

Odd one out:

Alalalala!! Aww, hey, there’s a reason why you’re my personal sun la, Aisya Farid

Reckless abandon

When?

Ahhaaaaaaa. Just kidding. Life can’t be any more sweeter.

What? I’m a fucking optimist.

DUUUUDEEEE. Khatijah’s ‘Building Healthy Relationship’ ICA &Clemau’s Alienation ICA presentation DONE, BABY! Both very positive remarks, YESSA. Gots to thank Nools for ..her references Wouldn’t have done Alienation without her, seriously. &then there’s US. We put our heart &soul into it. Sweat, tears &BLOOD. Don’t ask.

We all knew how Khatijah is Well CGH-clan should know, cause we had her as our CI not once but twice &she scares the living hell outtarf us. I’m saying she has admirable qualities &I respect her a great deal. Anyways, I like Khatijah. BUT WHY IS IT EVERYTIME WE SEE HER, WE FREEZE UP. No wonder when she suggested to us to come up with an “impromptu skit”, we simply left it to spontaneity(&the almighty above) &did it right there &then. Why? Because she said so.

Dude, she could have just said, “Balance the table and chairs on your head” for all I care, her wish is our command. Do it, or die trying.

Oh ya sidetrack a bit. ELJAY UPDATED. HERE!

K Come back.

“Wait. Before that, what day is it today?”

It’s Tuesday. SO WE GELARE-D! Cannot face another chocolate for the next 2weeks la, please. (Yea right.) This is kindar like a celebration la. Since we’re finished with our assessment, &we’re about done with our presentations.

Actually no la..it just felt funny having nothing to do after school. There was at one point we were like, eh why we stay back uh. Cause we were just too used to leaving the school as late as 8. But it was 2pm &we were like eh wtf??We can go home already!!

We had an (unintentional,) open, controversial conversations about sex, &blow jobs &masturbation while downing ice cream &waffles. Very refreshing=) We’re young &curious. (&one of us?Clueless.HAHA!)

This is the life, I was thinking, &I was downing down ice cubes under the scorching sun with Kama. &now &then eyeing Zaffy &Aisya Farid in amusement as they joked around with one another. Then one of us mentioned something the presentations &we were like, shit! But very leaderly(!?!), I reassured them that we would handle it tomorrow.

I will miss this life.

This morning was like hell. Agaaaaain, I left the house way too early just to get the fuck away from the crazy mother.

Rise to the occasion

Lays Barbecue = Sex.

Think Kumar &his weed=)

Ya’ll know I’ve been craving.

So what’s the occasion? Well. I passed my assessment. CHEY BAH!!!!

Ya’ll know my weekends were Bullshit. 80% was spent in sloth centre. I came to school early today supposedly to practice but there were too many people &I just couldn’t be stuffed, so we hung out outside &just..well, I stoned. 80%, I stoned. Zaffy wanted to ‘assess’ me but I brushed her off like, whatever man just leave me to it. Then at one point she snatched away my notes which I had been staring at, &then laughed at how how fucking scared my face was cause I couldn’t answer her question.

I yawned 11times in the 8minute bus journey to school. A dozen more just sitting there outside the room. I shan’t say it was the result of sleep deprivation cause that would be a fucking lie. I slept a lot, dok I love weekends that way. Yet I hate it, cause weekends brings out the worst in me. But whatever. It’s Monday &I AIN’T GOT THE BLUES.

Corny as this gunna sound like: I hope your Monday was as fantastic as mine :*)

It was all because Andy canceled today’s tutorial.

Time now: 11.37pm, 24th July

We were like Nomads. Moving from place to place to do our project. BECAUSE ANDY CANCELED TODAY’S TUTE, SO IT WAS LIKE, WTF ARE WE GUNNA DO TILL HUIFEN’S PRESENTATION LATER AT 5? Since it was the start of practical assessment, we had 2hours ‘free’ la. So that was 4hours of ‘free time’.

The first hour: lunch. But something happened along the way (I think cause the snacks dispenser/vending machine didn’t have my favourite snack no more), then I lost my groove. Then I remembered wishing I had someone to look forward to(i.e. eye candy) around school for obvious reasons(I am desperate not). But all I have was Dr. Param. No I don’t. I’m just saying that so as not to appear completely pathetic &sad. Not working. Doesn’t help that Andy’s lecture today was about looooove. Idk. We did miss the introduction. Again.

Sing for me the plans that you have for me over again

K let’s see: FYP’s done.HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THROWS CONFETTI.

K. Weird.

FYP’s done Right after it, Kama called up Yusman &all of us went: “THANK YOU YUSMAN!”

Macam surreal. All the months of hard work… it finally came down to that 20minutes(though we exceeded the time?Despite the superman speed I started off with). It was all pretty well done from what I think &what I think is the most important, right? &Loi reckoned it ‘deserved a high grade’ &today she was telling Kama(webmaster) that she was gunna recommend our site to NgSE &’talk to her about giving high grades’. Something’s up with Loi. Tis the lecturer who gave us a flying kiss at the end of our theory paper today. (Bet I was the only one who noticed that.)

Where is my head. Seriously. Idk if it was the stress or the residual caffeine still in my system. But I remembered at one point today, Aisya Farid took a good look at me &said, “Where is Lela? This is not Lela.”

&then I almost kissed a guy today. DAMN

The attack of the psyche

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

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.

HAHHA MCM P.

Time check 11:45pm. Ok I have soooooo many things to do:’( If only I could just recall them.

Just got back from Macs with Ai Kim. Studied like fuck. Actually no la. We very relax la. Must have something to do with the high amount of caffeine circulating in our blood streams. (Do they have a clinical term for that?) But whatever. I’ve the list of chemo drugs &their antidotes at the back of my head. Vaguely…but confidently! Wah, oxymoronic.(To Farid &Kim: that’s another word to search up dictionary.com.Tomorrow I test you. HAHA.)

Ok shit I’m very high now Abeh sad. Time to channel the high on to our FYP. (TOMORROW AHHHHH. It’s showtime.)

PS. Thanks for the coolest most creative birthday gift ever, Tiong Ai Kim. ORANGE BRA STRAPS. WOW. VERY HANDY. I laughed out loud when I opened your gift at the atrium. Thanks for making me smile:))

EDITED ENTRY BELOW

Get nekid, people, it’s my birthday.

I’m still in my celebratory  mood.

Not.

But still.

VRE MANAGEMENT IS FINALLY OVER. So relieved, I could cry. Except I had so many things to think about that needs my attention, that I FORGOT to feel relieve. Only when Farid randomly mentioned it out of nowhere during Andy’s lecture(which was like an hour after the presentation itself), I went like, “Oh ya, VRE over.” &then we gave each other a lame high-five. &then after that it’s back down to reality. &the reality is…well, it has never been uglier. &it can only get worse from here.

MANNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn I wish I could be more optimistic, more positive about the whole everything, but sometimes it’s so hard to find these days amongst this concatenation of chaos &confusion. When what you’re doing is never congruent to what you wanna be doing. Isn’t that Life.

It’s awright. Just think short-term happiness for now.

I am craving for Lays. Damn.

I thought today was simply spectacular. AS IN AFTER THE RAIN STOPPED. It was a bit before 7pm. &I was in the bus, &it had just stopped raining. I noticed the clouds seemed closer, somehow? Like if I were to stand on top of the highest building, all I had to do was reach out &I could literally touch the fucking sky. The puddles on the ground reflected the beautiful, calm &comforting shade of cerulean blue of the sky, &made everything just so dream-ish. I wanted to just cuddle up next to this handsome stranger sitting next to me, pull my faded pink cardigan tighter over my chest &fold my arms &go to sleep forever.

&then HS jumped &left, &what took his place was this smelly secondary school kid. Sweat &rain water. Not a very nice mix. I wanted my yummy-smelling HS back. There goes the rest of the bus journey. Isn’t that Life.

Of couse it’s because I’m cool

OOOOOOOHHH I kindar just set up My Johari Window over there on the side I’d truly appreciate if you’d participate… IT WOULD BE A REALLY GREAT BIRTHDAY GIFT. You can remain anonymous if you want! EHEHEH THANK YOU ILY! Ya, ya I know we already did the activity during Andy’s tutorial today, but come onnnn. Though I appreciate all the wonderful compliments you scribbled on the piece of paper that’s been scotchtaped thrice to my back(stupid shit cannot stick), I believe you are more creative than that CHEY LELA TAK PUAS HATI.

You’d be surprised the words your friends use to describe you. I was. Pleasantly surprised. WHOAA I AM COOL?????????? Nobody else in class is labeled cool except yours truly. Kekeke.

“Curly!” Yuwen hollered, albeit belated.

“Hahah can also la.”

Cinta mati

And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

Home.

My family can be an annoying bunch. Sometimes I want to run away from them, far far far away. &violently disregard any sort of association with them. Ah, what else is new. (Practice some discretion, guyssss…seriously.)

My friends can be a (cute) annoying bunch as well. Ah, idk how else to put this. My peripheral vision is still pretty much intact, guys. Ehehe. Takpurr la. Looking forward to..this Saturday.

“Have a good weekend, guys!” Wee exclaimed before she left. I was like, pfft. But Zaf was all optimistic. “Of course,” she said with a conspiratorial wink. Then I reflected: “OH YA HOR.” Zaf found it terribly amusing that SHE had to remind me of my birthday. Wow. I guess I’m way too caught up with bullshit that is school &presentation.

Speaking of which:

dkgjsakgj kasjg a’gksfgagjsjn jgsajgajg ajfojghfgajkg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x1928u curyh!

K moving on

&then there were 2

7:25pm
NYP Eplaza.

We’ve been here since 1 today. &then Zaf left at 5. Lidan at 6:30. Aisya 15minutes ago. &then there were 2. Just me &my Insane Woman. She’s taking over my hot seat to deal with them slides now. I’ve had enough. Hence.

Management sucks balls.

-

8:03pm
NYP Eplaza

Ha-ha.

We just saw this coolest website. Re-inspired. I can see it already..how cool OUR website’s gunna be. To add to the anticipation(&pressure), Loi’s like damn excited la. Totally digs our FYP. “Impressive,” she said, nodding her head appraisingly, after I had more or less gave her a brief summary of what we are(trying to) do.

All of us were like, “Come again?????????”

“Can I see your website? Before you confirm it,” she was saying. “Then I can give some constructive criticism to help you improve before you present to NgSE…” Wah. Loi so nice. Then we found out why: “Can you help design my website?” ..

Time now: 8:21pm.

KAMA, I WANNA GO HOME ALREADY.

Let’s get some fries first, shally?

-

9:29pm
ROOM!!!!!!!!!!(:

Home sweet home.