Onco-ck

When I found out from Zaffy that Oncology lecturer didn’t give any hints for exams &was reminded that during her consolidation (more like some damn lame quiz), I wasn’t paying any attention not because I was sleepy or tired, but because I chose not to, I returned Zaf’s text message with a whole load of profanities. (Mouthful!) Zaf’s reply in a form of a profound albeit obvious observation:

"Nursing makes us vulgar."

I texted back furiously:

"Totally. We came in with good intentions, come out like ready to start WW3."

-

Any idea how FRUSTRATING it is trying to find a nice place to study? Hor, Dicky? Brr.

Pain, make your way to me, to me

That’s What You Get - Paramore

No sir, well I don’t wanna be the blame, not anymore.
It’s your turn, so take a seat we’re settling the final score.
And why do we like to hurt so much?

I can’t decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities where I was wrong

That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
That’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.
I drowned out all my sense away with the sound of its beating.
And that’s what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.

-

This song had been the soundtrack of the last few days in school. (However, we only sang that phrase cause that’s the only words that we know. Well, for the record, they sang those phrases quite a lot anyways!)

“That’s what you get when you let your heart win. WHOA. That’s what you get when you let your heart win, WHOA.”

“What do you get when you let your heart win?” Zaf had said at one point.

Without missing a beat, I said, “You become a loser like me.”

You know, sometimes the first words that come out of your mouth are really like straight from the heart? Sad.

My heart wins all the time.

Had always won all the time.

Well I’m sick of it. I’m finally telling me to fucking take a break :\

My life is complete

Andy macam one of us.

Pictures on eljay SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PICTURES UPLOADED

 6August

7August

I will miss you=)

These lines are older than even me

Nothing but a game, right?
All work, no pay.
Sometimes I can almost feel it,
Slipping away.
There’s so much left in me,
I need to say.
I cannot let my heart,
Chase you away.

Me.
Homeless.
A tendency to over-do things.
Emotionless.
Love is a thought, in the back of my mind.

Hopeless Romantic,
Till the day I die.
There’s just too many feelings,
To ever know why.
Broken, bread for disaster.
My shape is changing.
No one can break this.
No one can make this.

You.
You just had to come and make my heart,
Skip a beat.
Once again, like I’m stuck on repeat

For you,
It was always for you.
There’s not a thing I do,
For anyone I knew.
I wish I was as selfish,
As selfish as you.

You and me.
Have always been right here.
I remember the lines.
Spilling out, without recollection.
Wish away all you want.
The only perfect lie, is the truth.
I would do for you.
I would do it all again.

Reckless abandon

When?

Ahhaaaaaaa. Just kidding. Life can’t be any more sweeter.

What? I’m a fucking optimist.

DUUUUDEEEE. Khatijah’s ‘Building Healthy Relationship’ ICA &Clemau’s Alienation ICA presentation DONE, BABY! Both very positive remarks, YESSA. Gots to thank Nools for ..her references Wouldn’t have done Alienation without her, seriously. &then there’s US. We put our heart &soul into it. Sweat, tears &BLOOD. Don’t ask.

We all knew how Khatijah is Well CGH-clan should know, cause we had her as our CI not once but twice &she scares the living hell outtarf us. I’m saying she has admirable qualities &I respect her a great deal. Anyways, I like Khatijah. BUT WHY IS IT EVERYTIME WE SEE HER, WE FREEZE UP. No wonder when she suggested to us to come up with an “impromptu skit”, we simply left it to spontaneity(&the almighty above) &did it right there &then. Why? Because she said so.

Dude, she could have just said, “Balance the table and chairs on your head” for all I care, her wish is our command. Do it, or die trying.

Oh ya sidetrack a bit. ELJAY UPDATED. HERE!

K Come back.

Heys *me*

I feel a longing when you’re around. I need you in some way I don’t fully understand. It’s true that a day doesn’t pass by without having thought about you. You visit my mind often. I read somewhere that being ‘in love’ and ‘infatuation’ are different ways to classify the same thing. In that case, I am in love with you. It depresses me when you’re around. But also when you’re not.

And here I am now. Writing months afterwards. And it is still true that I think of you every day. And I still long for you. You have left me with a pain that will not go away. I realise now. That the pain will stay.

I stopped talking about you a long time ago. Those who I tried to express my feelings to did not take me seriously . Some tried, (wisely I suppose), to point out I was obsessing. As if I didn’t know. Problem is I don’t obsess in general. I obsess in particular. I miss you. Some have tried making fun of my feelings (whether purposefully or not I don’t know). That hurt. I express feelings that run deep. Perhaps in a passing remark that could be easily missed. Still.

Sometime a year ago, in your backyard

To touch and feel each thing in the world, to know it by sight and by name and then to know it with your eyes closed so that when something is gone, it can be recognized by the shape of its absence. So that you can continue to possess the lost, because absence is the only constant thing.
Because you can get free of everything except the space where things have been.

-Nicole Krauss

Backyard kepe..

Something like you

EDITED: In all shades of gorgeous

Post FYP.

Hello, my friends. Another week coming to an end already. I’m making it a habit to bring my camera every day to school, because you may never know what you’re gunna get. I have this shit idea, of passing my camera around, &let them take whatever picture they wanna take. For example, of themselves, what they are having for lunch, their notes, etc. &then return it to me at the end of the day.

But idk, I find it hard to trust people nows-aday… *shifty eyes* Kids these days are very naughty, &are always up to something sneaky. Like, idk..lock you from outside your toilet cubicle? Idk, you tell me.

I learnt something about myself today from Andy’s lecture.

I’m sorry I cut my hair

I’m sorry cause I only managed to complete my report today. I didn’t touch the presentation on VRE Management, nor did I even THINK about the video for the website. (This is where Farid will let out a furious cry, “LELA!!! APER PUNYER LEADER NIE???”)

Oh well. I did went out to shoot. Well, define out.

More here.

Oh ya. I wasn’t kidding about the title. I am sorry I cut my hair(just recently Eve complimented on how feminine I looked. &then I went around &did this:

This is my 304th entry, damn it

Dear Lina, how’s Hong Kong? Guess you’ll be home tomorrow So many things have happened this week. Hmm, my phone was stolen. &I bought a new camera! I’m into origami hearts(folded my 67th), Kila’s into sewing cause she managed to fix Gmum’s old sewing machine &now she’s pinned(ha-ha). No, I definitely haven’t turned your bed into my little creative zone. Are you kidding? Your bed’s supposedly off limits, right?

Just sleep

Temporary phone Thanks to Farid. Siemens, dok. Old school. I’ve yet to figure out how to work it, &how to recognize the ringtone… HAHA. Last night when I was with Farid. A phone rang. I laughed.

“Cool ringtone.”

“Eh it’s YOURs la.”

“OH!”

Hehe have you tasted it?

Well, taste it already

YUP THAT’S MY NEW BABY UP THERE.

I know it’s nothing like what I had intended to buy la. Omg at that… I went to Courts: “S5IS no stock liao.” The 2nd store: “No more selling lei.” I was in tears when I stepped into the 3rd store: “HAHAHA,” the dude laughed at me. “Old camera alreadyyy la.”

“WHYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.” Hung my head on the table &mumbled something incoherently. It occurred it me suddenly how I really don’t care if it’s an old model or what. I like it, means I like it.

Wilie (he who laughed at me) said in an attempt to make me feel better, “Add a few more hundreds can buy SLR already.” &a Nikon SLR came into my view. I pushed it away. “I’m a Canon user,” I said without lifting my head off the table. Killer patted me on the shoulder comfortingly. Patting increased in velocity &power. Lost all purpose of comfort… I think she was telling me something about trying out a new model, go out of my comfort zone. That kindar bullshit crap.

But in the end I caved in anyways I took the Nikon in my hand &gave it a shot. Not bad la…… But 6mp only. He showed me a Sony SLR. Wicked shit, I tell you. “Sony is catching up with Canon,” Wilie said. “But Canon still in the lead.” Aherm. I felt a surge of pride. I was feeling better already.

He showed me the Canon Powershot A650 IS. I didn’t like at first cause it of its colour. &it’s not viewfinder friendly. “This is better than that Nikon SLR, or the S5IS you wanted to get.” Chuckle. How dare he mocked me.

He took a macro shot of his pen &compared it with the Nikon’s shot. The difference was astoundingly obvious, if it had a mouth it would laugh in my face &gave Wilie a run for his money. (Idk what I’m talking about here.) “Cheap, some more,” he said. Nikon SLR was $1899. Cheap is good. Cheap is always good.

Then he talked about the free gifts. &how he was throwing in a Canon printer at $199. THE NON-INK KIND LEI. THE ONE YOU CAN BRING ALONG ANYWHERE YOU ARE. IT’S THAT SMALL &CONVENIENT. “Inclusive of 3dry cartridges &108printing paper FREE, & $30 Takashimaya voucher. PLUS Bluetooth adapter, to print pictures from your phone-” At this point I HAH-ed.

“So how?”