It was enough time to see that everything has changed for me

I got up to Momster hitting me rudely with the pillow. I was sleeping face down, arse to the world. Or at least, to Momster &the pillow she was hitting me with. She sounded angry. I couldn’t figure what about. Actually, I could, but I couldn’t pick out one out of a possible 10000001 things that would piss her off at—I reached for my phone tucked underneath me—8am! SERIOUSLY. &yet I couldn’t even be bothered to tell her to stop. Just not the head, I was willing.

She gave me one final hit over the head.

I stuffed my phone back &went back to sleep, only to wake to an sms at 9ish. I had to. It was vibrating in my face &the voice of Larry Solimon was bursting my ear drums, kindar.

“Amazing,” Momster quipped. She was watching television, looking slightly annoyed at being interrupted by my ringtone. “You woke to an sms but not to me hitting you with a pillow.”

“Try the laptop next time,” I said, giving her a peck on her head.

“Don’t think I won’t.”

Mental note to self: hide laptop.

Chronic pain…in the ass

Haiii…rain, rain. Just when I was thinking of heading to somewhere niiiice &lay down on the grass, gaze up at the clouds with you. But weather’s been (favorite phrase) ‘cocked’ up the past few days.

“You’re criticizing god’s creation. Don’t,” Lina snapped at me this morning as I was standing by the window, half naked, singing rain rain go away come again another day. I was more like pleading, really… I just wanna see blue clouds when I look up, is that so wrong!:’((!!!

Seriously. I’ve forgotten what colour the sky can be on a non-rainy day. Re-inspire me.

Oh well.

Time, I think that’s what we all need. Time to adapt. Time to warm up. Time to prepare. Time to get our act together. Time to chill the fuck out!!! Time to get to know, understand &love one anotherrr.

Time to get together some time…this, we take for granted.

What if your ‘one day’ never comes?

Sometimes it pisses me off. But it’s only because I miss you. &then you know what????????? I love you, right? &if you can’t come to us, we’ll come to you …At least I will luh. I know where you live Nyehehehe. Haii…Hannan, Hannan.

TIMEEEEEEE. When you feel like you’re running out of time, that’s exactly the best time to STOPPPPPPPPP. Take a breather. Get a little perspective. Reflect. Pick your nose… Give time time. You’ll thank me one day.

Macam paham. Hor, Evelyn? Haha.

Oh yuh my results.

Stare at you, stare at me

There’s a battle going on within every person. Everything going on inside of us deals with whether or not it will improve our quality of life. Our lives are a constant war between one emotion, one action, one thought and the next option which has the ability to be slightly better or slightly worse than the previous emotion, action, or thought.

The things in life that were weghing me down and somewhat stressing me out recently are now sort of exciting to me. It’s that peace that I was craving. That peace came down, changed the way I see things. Thanks to the talk with Eve yesterday while milking babies. YERR, LIKE REAL MILKING BABIES:)))) Haha. Feeding them luh. Nak milk dengan aper seyyyyyyWAHAHA.

Eve if you’re reading thiiiissssss…&I know you do,(if only you’d tag!!!)we should have more of that conversations, babe Pretty please???Nyahaah.

Anyways GOOD MORNING:::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are inummerable thoughts wandering around my mind. Some come and leave just as quickly, some come and return, some nag me no matter what I’m doing. I don’t even know where to begin to explain it all. A lot of alone time is needed, I think, to, well, think. Attachment take up the days. &when we get home from hospital, naturally sleep takes up random free time. I must make time for myself.

I guess writing is a way of making time for myself as well. But writing = blogging,NOT. Idk, to me, writing &blogging are different things. Writing is an umbrella term. Blogging is a form of writing. Writing for entertainment. Then there’s writing for the soul, which is mostly in my veejay. Or here, but very much candy-coated &superficial. Or under a password, which you, MY FRIENDS, can easily get from me. No biggie

&then there’s writing, writers’ writing. I feel there’s been a drastic change in my lifestyle? Hobby-wise?

Henry David Thoreau used to say: “How vain it is to sit down to write, when you have not stood up to live.”

I’ve stopped narrating ever since I started nursing. I know, sounds like a weak excuse! Guess what, I’m using it anyway. Hah. Nurses don’t have lives. They can’t have lives! Haha! It’s always somebody else’s before themselves. Another reason why I’ve stopped writing was when I started questioning myself. Then I figure, better not start on something unstable. I hadn’t pick up my pen ever since. Just random doodles &one-liners now. Which is really…a major change compared to pages &pages &pages of words forwards I used to come up with when I was younger. Damn I miss those hungry years.

I think I’m not ready. I’ve never been. Commitment issues luh, I think. I never complete a story. It finally got to me, &I stopped entirely. It was getting frustrating

But one day I’ll find my passion back. I have writer’s-faith in that. In me>:F Jiayou.

Maybe next week WHAT WITH 4WEEKS FREEEE WAAAAAAAAH omg, okthnx. Can’t wait for some ME TIMEEEEEEEE.

Ok enough ranting.

Obs DAY 2(yesterday):

Skellies

Hehe. Hello

OBSTETRICS BORINGGG.Kuakuakua. Please, I’d pick Paeds anyday. Even better, I’d rather be back in ward37 at CGH with Du right now. “Aku nampak doctor kau,” Du laughed. Eff you luh eh Oh, my Dr.S:’)

Actually obs is so boring I have totally nothing to share. WAHHHH. (that’s a cry of helplessness.)

However!! I’m crazy about SN Para:PPP She’s like the coolest.

Made some NP friends

Eve bought me a keychain… SKELETON KEYCHAIN WAAH!!!(this, a cry of sheer delight.) Thanks, Eve. You’re the bomb

We found out that we both could be from the same kindergarten!!!! This, hilarious:

“I’m from Kebun Baru PAP.”

“Eh. Me too.” *still pretty ok*

“Really? I lived in AMK last time eh.”

“Eh. Me too!” *beginning to sink in* “Actually I’ve always had luh. But EH!”

It gradually got to us. THE TRANSITION WAS DAMN CUTE LUH!

“EH!?!” we said in unison.

“EHHH!!!!??

“EHHHH!?!?!”

“WHERE YOU STAY!”

“103!”

“I stayed in 112!”

“EH FUCK UH.”

While this was going on, Maggie &Koh were like, “…” &then they lapsed into their own conversation, &found out they were from the same secondary school(3years apart), &were from CHOIR WAHHHHH(cry of disbelief).

We learn something new about each other every day!!!

Omg I do not wanna go work.

HAHA RANDOM. Not really.

Thank god for friends. Makes it bearable LUUUCKILY it’s just 4more days, &then liberation, baby. I’ve soooo much I wanna do.

There I go again, that surge of adrenaline whenever I say that.

I’ve soooo much I wanna do.

Of couse, &then there’s this sunday.