Your skin and mine
The clothes we wear
And the air between
My skin and yours
The clothes we wear
And the air between
Your clothes and mine
Our skin
And nothing between.
When I just want you to love me back
August 13, 2008
All over you - Spill Canvas
Yeah, he’s a looker but I really think it’s guts that matter most.
I displayed them for you.
Strung out about from coast to coast.
I am easily make believe.
Just dress me up in what you want me to be.
I’ll take back what I’ve been saying,
For quite some time now.
I’ve gotta feel you in my bones again.
I’m all over you.
I’m not over you.
I wanna taste you one more time again.
I’m all over you.
I’m not over you.
Beautiful letdown
August 8, 2008
In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in,
Until I found out
I don’t belong here
I don’t belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don’t belong.
It was a beautiful letdown
When you found me here
And for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I’ll be a beautiful letdown
That’s what I’ll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I’ll sing for free.
We’re still chasing our tails
And the rising sun
And our dark water planet
Still spins in a race
Where no one wins
And no one’s one.
These lines are older than even me
August 3, 2008
Nothing but a game, right?
All work, no pay.
Sometimes I can almost feel it,
Slipping away.
There’s so much left in me,
I need to say.
I cannot let my heart,
Chase you away.
Me.
Homeless.
A tendency to over-do things.
Emotionless.
Love is a thought, in the back of my mind.
Hopeless Romantic,
Till the day I die.
There’s just too many feelings,
To ever know why.
Broken, bread for disaster.
My shape is changing.
No one can break this.
No one can make this.
You.
You just had to come and make my heart,
Skip a beat.
Once again, like I’m stuck on repeat
For you,
It was always for you.
There’s not a thing I do,
For anyone I knew.
I wish I was as selfish,
As selfish as you.
You and me.
Have always been right here.
I remember the lines.
Spilling out, without recollection.
Wish away all you want.
The only perfect lie, is the truth.
I would do for you.
I would do it all again.
Heys *me*
July 22, 2008
I feel a longing when you’re around. I need you in some way I don’t fully understand. It’s true that a day doesn’t pass by without having thought about you. You visit my mind often. I read somewhere that being ‘in love’ and ‘infatuation’ are different ways to classify the same thing. In that case, I am in love with you. It depresses me when you’re around. But also when you’re not.
And here I am now. Writing months afterwards. And it is still true that I think of you every day. And I still long for you. You have left me with a pain that will not go away. I realise now. That the pain will stay.
I stopped talking about you a long time ago. Those who I tried to express my feelings to did not take me seriously . Some tried, (wisely I suppose), to point out I was obsessing. As if I didn’t know. Problem is I don’t obsess in general. I obsess in particular. I miss you. Some have tried making fun of my feelings (whether purposefully or not I don’t know). That hurt. I express feelings that run deep. Perhaps in a passing remark that could be easily missed. Still.
Sometime a year ago, in your backyard
July 20, 2008
To touch and feel each thing in the world, to know it by sight and by name and then to know it with your eyes closed so that when something is gone, it can be recognized by the shape of its absence. So that you can continue to possess the lost, because absence is the only constant thing.
Because you can get free of everything except the space where things have been.
-Nicole Krauss
Backyard kepe.. 
Karma police, arrest this man
July 2, 2008
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
For for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Phew, for a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself
Cinta mati
July 2, 2008
And I’d give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now
Home.
My family can be an annoying bunch. Sometimes I want to run away from them, far far far away. &violently disregard any sort of association with them. Ah, what else is new. (Practice some discretion, guyssss…seriously.)
My friends can be a (cute) annoying bunch as well. Ah, idk how else to put this. My peripheral vision is still pretty much intact, guys. Ehehe. Takpurr la. Looking forward to..this Saturday.
“Have a good weekend, guys!” Wee exclaimed before she left. I was like, pfft. But Zaf was all optimistic. “Of course,” she said with a conspiratorial wink. Then I reflected: “OH YA HOR.” Zaf found it terribly amusing that SHE had to remind me of my birthday. Wow. I guess I’m way too caught up with bullshit that is school &presentation.
Speaking of which:
dkgjsakgj kasjg a’gksfgagjsjn jgsajgajg ajfojghfgajkg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x1928u curyh!
K moving on 
Sneak preview a bit la eh 
“Come on, he obviously felt something for her.” … Idk how to tell them about our connection, like certain phenomena, it resists analysis and proofs. There are different times during the day when I absolutely know he’s thinking about me. I feel like he’s summoning me, silently telling me how much he longs for me too. I keep thinking of what he said to me: “We’ll know when the time is right.” … “You’re sick from this. Look at this - your poor arm. It’s like a stick. She’s not eating. She’s living off her guts.” “That’s not love.”
Keep calm &carry on
May 31, 2008
YAY BOUGHT A NEW NOTEBOOK AAAAAAAAHAHAHA. It’s got black pages this one. Heehee. I swear I reminded me of a small kid opening a new box of crayons. Those with like 101 different colours?(There’s such, right?)
New beginnings, babe. NEW BEGINNINGSSSSSSS.
I still love you though. &you know I’d take you back in a heartbeat.
I’m pathetic that way. But that’s Lela for you. Don’t be sad for me. Just stand by me &hold my hand &be there when I need you &lend me your shoulders &your ears &Kleenex. Or just your presence. Your love. Or a hug.
But then I’m so messed up in my own shit, I forget you’re in yours too. So don’t be sad. I’ll stand by you &hold your hand &be there when you need me to &I’ll lend you my shoulders though you have to bend a bit la cause I’m short &I’ll definitely give you a listening ear &Kleenex &my presence &my love. Or thousand hugs.
(Anthony Hamilton’s Dear Life on repeat, dok. Hence the mushiness. HAHA. Aww, but it’s such a beautiful song:
Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it feels like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don’t go off running from what’s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.)
-
My eyesight got me into trouble again.
The hours
May 31, 2008
We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep; it’s as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we’re very fortunate, by time itself. There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) know these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more.
-Michael Cunningham
I thought it was over but it’s not
May 25, 2008
Search Engine Terms
These are terms people used to find your blog.
Today
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Huh. Ok. Haha. Someone googled me. COOL. ……Sure, there’s someone out there with my name.. &I think it’s damn cute how people out there are also experiencing the same problem with the MOTORAZR like I did when I first had it? Haha. Oh ya &I have the answers to how to give out lesbian vibes. Lesbian vibes huh… I LIKE come onnnnnnnnnnn baby. Hahahaha. Yea, baby COME ONNNNNNN. I’m just asking you to hold me.
Sigh.
I’m spinning in circles I can’t stop
I thought it was over but it’s not
I’m in love
With a fool
And you don’t know what you’ve lost
It hurts from the bottom to the top
I thought it was over but it’s not
Air
May 3, 2008
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