Keep calm &carry on

YAY BOUGHT A NEW NOTEBOOK AAAAAAAAHAHAHA. It’s got black pages this one. Heehee. I swear I reminded me of a small kid opening a new box of crayons. Those with like 101 different colours?(There’s such, right?)

New beginnings, babe. NEW BEGINNINGSSSSSSS.

I still love you though. &you know I’d take you back in a heartbeat.

I’m pathetic that way. But that’s Lela for you. Don’t be sad for me. Just stand by me &hold my hand &be there when I need you &lend me your shoulders &your ears &Kleenex. Or just your presence. Your love. Or a hug.

But then I’m so messed up in my own shit, I forget you’re in yours too. So don’t be sad. I’ll stand by you &hold your hand &be there when you need me to &I’ll lend you my shoulders though you have to bend a bit la cause I’m short &I’ll definitely give you a listening ear &Kleenex &my presence &my love. Or thousand hugs.

(Anthony Hamilton’s Dear Life on repeat, dok. Hence the mushiness. HAHA. Aww, but it’s such a beautiful song:

Sometimes in life,
You run across a love unknown,
Without a reason, it feels like you, belong.
Hold on Dear Life,
Don’t go off running from what’s new,
I became somebody, through loving you.)

-

My eyesight got me into trouble again.

The hours

We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep; it’s as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we’re very fortunate, by time itself. There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) know these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more.

-Michael Cunningham