I cursed myself for being surprised that this didn’t play like it did in my mind
I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A spinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.
Chuck Palahniuk
If you need me, you know where you can find reach me
Your Crap Is My Crap
Thank you for those who have made use of my formspring.com. So I guess I’ll answer some of your questions slash comment on your comments.
#1 are you for real??
I’m sorry Miss Jackson, I am ~FO REEEEEELL
Other times, it’s just a memory
Wdf:D Put pictures of a hot guy in sexy poses, &my stats skyrocketed like nobody’s fucking business. Makes me even more determined to, you know what. Aku tak puas hati, cause he gets more attention from me on my birthday. Thanks. Well, my doing la, my doing:P
SO I HAD A DATE WITH ZAFIRAH THAT THURSDAY.
Was supposed to wait for her cue to leave my place. Was getting rather impatient, truth be told. What is taking her so long? Then it was a bit after 1230 when she called, saying, “Ok, I am totally blowing my cover la, but what’s your block number again?”
I just broke into a broad smile. “103, babe.”
“Ok ok you can leave your place already.” Bashful laughter.
Ok, although it didn’t exactly turned out the way it was supposed to~ Look, nobody can plan a surprise like I do, ok? I’m the queen of giving people surprises cause I’m that thorough &that bitch of a perfectionist. Gloat! Gloat! Gloat! (&also because I generally look like I don’t give a shit, which makes a surprise even more of a surprise cause nobody would have seen me coming:P)
Nevertheless I was sooooo touched by her gesture, &it means a lot to me, cause she stays all the way at Telok Blangah. When I got to my void deck, there she was, with californian cheese cake from Coffee Beans:P “Hey you,” I said as I got out of the lift. It kindar seemed surreal to me..seeing her at MY void deck, wdf:P She looked so beautiful, like an angel from a nightmare(&the surrounding is a nightmare because of the construction going on) &she dressed up especially for me la seyyyyyyy:PPP Thank you eh, Zaf:PPP I love the gifts too:PPPP
“Whoo Ela’s birthday!”
Yes, once more, with feeling:D
The photos above were taken the day Zaf surprised me at my void deck with californian Cheesecake, yumfuckitty yum. I think it was the second of July. It was supposed to be a surprise but, heh. More of that in another entry.
So I turned 20. Thank you for all your wishes, I appreciate it:) &I’m not just saying. I really do.
It was a quiet 20th! Not like last time, once upon a time when I had friends. Now, I lonerrr. You know you’re sad when the first person to wish you is your sister’s boyfriend. Wdf. I wanted to weep. I mean, phone call some more lei. Not text message or what. I think Ben called from camp or the platform or something, idk. He was 2minutes way advance but it was sweet. &SAD. Ah well, think I’d rather hear from him than any other guys anyways. Aherm *Firdaus* cause Momster had dropped a giant hint that I might hear from him. But I didn’t. So that was good. I’ll tell you who I heard from. Douchebag, on the eve of my birthday, like what is this fuckery? I swear if he wishes me happy birthday, I will stab myself. But, he didn’t. So that was great. Cause he’s the last person I wanna hear from,period. It’s complicated. I just hate him sometimes. Why can’t he be like other guys who screw with the girl &then fuck off for good. Because he never really had me, that’s why. Which you would think is a good thing, but Sometimes I feel like, we should have just gotten it over &done with so we can move on &I can start my life over with a clean slate. Yeah.
